Victims of domestic violence need our support

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month, but it’s crucial to recognize that domestic abuse occurs throughout the year. The alarming rise in domestic violence reveals a grim reality: abuse spares no one.

In 2019, over 70,000 victims received services through family violence agencies funded by the Texas Health and Human Services Commission, and according to a report by the Texas Council on Family Violence, 216 Texans were killed by intimate partners in 2022. The San Antonio Police Department receives more than 40,000 calls related to domestic violence per year.

Victims hail from diverse backgrounds, proving that intimate partner abuse knows no boundaries. It manifests in physical, emotional, and financial forms, reminding us that abuse isn’t confined to visible wounds; it seeps into the very fabric of one’s life.

Identifying domestic abuse often hinges on more than just visible wounds; it’s a complex web of hidden fears and silent suffering. Victims burdened by shame and terror often conceal the brutality within their homes, fearing the retaliation of their abuser. While some signs of physical abuse are overt — bruises and black eyes —others wear long sleeves in the hot summer, concealing the scars beneath.

Emotional abuse, which is often harder to detect, leaves its own invisible marks. Unexplained fear, perpetual apologies and sudden substance abuse can be an indicator of abuse. The outgoing become introverted and the vibrant are silenced by the control of an abuser. 

For children caught in the crossfire, domestic violence becomes a form of child abuse, with 26% of children enduring this trauma before adulthood. Their responses are poignant — attempting to protect a parent, drawing attention through disruptive acts, or tragically, mirroring the abusive behavior, thus perpetuating the cycle. 

Escaping the clutches of an abusive relationship stands as one of the most terrifying challenges a victim can face. Safety planning, personalized and tailored to one’s unique circumstances, emerges as the key to a safe exit. This could include creating safe havens within one’s home, storing spare keys securely and preserving evidence of abuse. Equally crucial is the support network — friends, family, and professionals who can guide and protect. 

Supporting someone in a domestic violence situation requires understanding and empathy from friends and family. The initial step involves active listening; dedicating time for difficult conversations, devoid of judgment, and familiarizing oneself with the warning signs. Equally crucial is to wholeheartedly believe the victim and avoid forming any conclusions. Validating their emotions, helping them create a safety plan and acknowledging the limits of your help are essential. While you cannot rescue them, you can offer support by providing a safe haven and being a compassionate listener.

The Kendall County Women’s Shelter offers round-the-clock emergency shelter to families and children affected by domestic violence. In our 11 years of dedicated service, we’ve touched the lives of over 2,700 clients, including 760 children and over 540 beloved pets, ensuring that no member of the family is left behind in times of crisis. 

Every client at the Kendall County Women’s Shelter, whether residing with us or seeking help from outside, gains access to continuous 24/7 support. Group and individual counseling, legal advocacy, case management, clothing, life skills classes and various other resources come without a price tag. Our trauma-informed trained staff are committed to nurturing their journey toward survival and resilience.

Both Kendall County, Bexar County and the City of San Antonio offer resources to victims of domestic violence at no cost. There are many victim support services to help with emergency housing, child protective orders, mental health and more.

It’s our collective responsibility as a community to bring light to the darkness, not just in October but every single day. We must open our hearts to those desperately seeking help, reminding them that they are not alone.

Domestic violence isn’t just a crisis; it’s a matter of life and death. Lives have been tragically cut short, leaving families shattered. We must reiterate, relentlessly, that there is no room for domestic violence in our community. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Together, let’s offer solace, support and unwavering compassion to those affected by domestic abuse.