Manuel Medina faces a tough campaign against incumbent Mayor Ivy Taylor and Councilman Ron Nirenberg (D8). He has never served in an elected office.

Medina, however, has one thing neither of the other front runners has: his neighbors.

When Medina’s Dominion neighbors heard that their beloved Block Captain faced strong competition from “townies” Nirenberg and Taylor, they rallied and held a rummage sale to raise funds for the Medina campaign.

“We take care of our neighbors out here,” the Dominion Neighborhood Association representatives said. “We just do what we can, and every little bit helps.”

The rummage sale will take place on the Dominion Country Club Golf Course, and is expected to shut down Holes 3-8 for most of the day. Organizers are going for an “Open Air Neiman Marcus meets Christie’s Auction House” vibe.

“We think of it as more of a market,” the event chair said. “’Sale’ is such an ugly word.”

Around Hole 3 the fine art collection will be on display, including original works from artists ranging from “things people have been meaning to donate to the Briscoe” to an original pastel landscape by neighbor “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Hole 4 has become, “basically a 7-acre humidor” said the event chair. Neighbors have donated excesses of Cuban cigars and a surprising number of smoking jackets.

Full suites of living room furniture have been arranged along the fairway at Hole 5, with sand traps and the putting green staged with professional-grade kitchen appliances.

“It’s not like someone is going to keep their Viking range if they buy a Sub-Zero refrigeration system. That would be absurd,” the event chair explained. “So yes, there in the sand trap you’ll see a full Viking V7 package. It’s a steal because Tommy Lee Jones burnt some popcorn in the microwave and the smell lingers.”

A card on the Viking package explained that the system would “give your home the stench of celebrity.” 

Hole 6 will be devoted to clothing, primarily last season’s designer gowns and shoes.

“Once you’ve worn it to an event, it’s nice to know that your beloved Carolina Herrera doesn’t have to go to kids’ dress-up box. It can still do some good.”

There was some discussion on whether or not is was disrespectful to the dresses to have them hanging on ordinary dress racks. In the end, organizers decided to include personal shoppers to ensure that things don’t get “Black Friday-ish.”

The largest and most popular rummage department will be at Hole 7, where the cohort of current and former Spurs players have been asked to donate signed items from around their homes. The event has thus far catalogued 11 mismatched socks from Manu Ginobli, an empty shampoo bottle and three half-used “Warm Sugar Cookie” scented candles from Patty Mills, and more than 20 Container Store stacking bins from Coach Gregg Popovich who reportedly makes “getting organized” his New Years resolution every year.

“Semi-transparent plastic tubs literally roll out of his garage every time he raises the door,” the event chair said. “He just signed them, and now they are worth hundreds of dollars.” 

Hole 8 is a resting area, where several cabanas have been built to give shoppers a respite. Here, Medina will be delivering canapés and mimosas, encouraging voters to “slip on those new Manolo Blahniks and walk right down to the voting booth.”

Medina’s message of “fighting corruption at City Hall” resonates with his neighbors, many of whom still have their “drain the swamp” T-shirts left over from the U.S. presidential campaign. 

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Dimmick Diaries Staff

The Dimmick Diaries is staffed by a hard-hitting team of taco-fueled wombats who, for one reason or another, always happen to be present when news is happening. They report what they can remember.