I never liked American History class in high school. I always felt like I was learning someone else’s history. I was raised in a traditional Ecuadorian household in Queens, and my parents were always reminding us of our homeland their belief that some day we would go back.
The rest of the kids in my neighborhood and borough came from similar situations: first or second generation immigrant families, caught between two cultures, and never quite fitting into either one. People refer to New York as a “melting pot,” but the reality is New York is a segregated place.
The Colombians are in a certain place, the Dominicans in another, the Indians somewhere else. Some cultures live in the same neighborhood, but still tend to stick to themselves. The real beneficiaries of New York’s cultural diversity are the people on guided food tours of the boroughs.
Usually, when people think of New York they think Times Square, Broadway, Central Park, maybe Wall Street. This city I call home is the financial and cultural center of the United States. People come from all over to experience the sights. Tourists in the Big Apple can be annoying and aggravating. They can bring out the worst in the natives. I became a mean New Yorker. Below the glitz and glamour there are dirty subway stations, crazy people who talk to themselves, segregation, gentrification, and the winter — the winter is really hard in New York. Part of the reason I moved to San Antonio in December of last year was because how horrible the season is up there.
More importantly, I moved to San Antonio because it is the hometown of my partner in crime. He had seen so much of New York with me and he wanted me to see where he grew up and how different it was. I had never heard of San Antonio, but when I started telling people that I was moving down there I found out that Texas is trending. Lots of people had good things to say about the city. It excited me to trade the Northeast winter for the Sun Belt.
I found San Antonio’s people to be as warm as the city’s weather. Starting with a meeting with Iris Dimmick, managing editor of the Rivard Report, I realized how different people were here. People in San Antonio were open, ready to meet for coffee, and always open to conversation. In New York you have to chase editors around as if they own the Internet. In San Antonio I got to write regularly for this wonderful publication, and I also became quite involved with the literary community.
I befriended poets, performers, musicians, and professors and was even able to perform on stage at the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center with then poet laureate of San Antonio, Carmen Tafolla. I also got to perform poetry at Mega Corazon, put on by Urban-15, where I was in the company of 24 of San Antonio’s premier poets in a six-hour live broadcast. I can only express the amount of gratitude I hold to the literary and arts community of San Antonio for welcoming me with open arms. It was truly a humbling experience.
From a cultural aspect, San Antonio was always accommodating. In New York I felt segregation, and feel it again now that I have moved back home. In San Antonio there are third, fourth, and even older generations of Mexican-Americans and Chicanos whose families had immigrated long ago or lived there forever. I sensed a deep feeling of inclusivity and mutual struggle. It felt more like, “We’re in this together” rather than, “It’s us against them.” I loved that feeling.
In New York I worked as a housing advocate, and I got to see the underbelly of the city. From scary home visits in the projects to being yelled at by lawyers and judges in housing court, I got to share the experiences of the many New Yorkers facing eviction. It was not pretty and I burned out. In San Antonio I did similar work, but with stark differences. I worked at the San Antonio AIDS Foundation. I got to see all of San Antonio as I did home visits beyond Loop 410 and even beyond Loop 1604. Because the majority of the population I was working with were gay men, I felt a much deeper sense of community. I was honored to serve my community in a place I called home for almost one year.
I thought that being gay in San Antonio was going to be difficult, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that San Antonio is actually quite queer. There were so many things that led me to feel very comfortable as a gay man in SAtown. There were all those late nights on The Strip and Cornyation. Queer performances at The Esperanza Peace and Justice Center and the SA Pride Parade. The opening of the new PRIDE Center, and everyone’s openness to my partner and me. Out of all cities in the U.S., San Antonio has the most same-sex parents.
One thing that I never got used to in San Anto, though, was the driving. In New York you walk, you walk everywhere – and it’s wonderful. My body actually went through physical discomfort from having to get used to all of the sitting I was doing in SAtown. I hope to see San Antonio have some sort of transit system akin to bigger cities one day.
Also I think that cultural gentrification and appropriation are happening everywhere. But there is something quite strange I felt in San Antonio – it’s hard to describe but there were parts of the city that felt like it was trying too hard – trying to, perhaps, be something it’s not. Some of my favorite parts of the city were not the new glitzy restaurants or bars but the down to earth taco stands and local bars. One example is The Pearl Brewery. It is definitely a very beautiful space and has made good use of the river, however I find some of the stores there bizarre and unnecessary. It felt a little contrived; almost too planned for tourists, so much so that I spotted a double decker tour bus – an eyesore. I also found some of the stores somewhat disrespectful to the cultural heritage of San Antonio as they sold traditional mexican/hispanic clothing and accessories at exorbitant prices. There was also a lack of local art throughout the entire complex; I didn’t get the feeling of hominess that I had come to love from SA at The Pearl at all, instead it felt almost alienated from the rest of the city.
I am leaving San Antonio because I found it wanting. I was accepted into graduate school at The London School of Economics and Political Science, and I am currently spending some time with my family in New York before I jump across the pond. Overall, my year in San Antonio was a great experience. It is a beautiful city with lots of potential. I hope it hangs on to its homey charm and doesn’t try to get too cosmopolitan. How could I forget the San Antonio and Guadalupe Rivers? And the brisket? I had never “tubed” or eaten brisket before I came to San Antonio, and loved doing both.
San Antonio – you treated me so well and I just want to say, thank you. You gave me a very different perspective on what it means to be American, better than anything I learned in history class, and that is truly invaluable.
*Featured/top image: In my wonderful car. Though I hated driving everywhere – it was a convertible after all. Courtesy photo.
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San Antonio: City on the Rise or a City Still Asleep?
Welcome perspective. A meaningful farewell essay. Good luck to you!
The author writes a lovely ode to San Antonio but doesn’t have the courage (or the space?) to explain himself when he declares at the end “I am leaving San Antonio because I found it wanting.” C;mon, if we can take Callie Enlow’s criticism we can take his. ‘splain yourself!
A great farewell essay. I grew up here, went to school in New York and moved back here so I have a differing view. I will say a lot of other ethnic groups besides Mexican-Americans and Chicanos live here and are quickly growing populations here. Perhaps he did not notice since they are segregated in the various wings of the city.
Your welcome to come back..best .
He is so right about the need for a transportation system, most notably a light rail akin to the DART in Dallas.
its not you s.a……its me.
Kevin, I am very sorry that you have only seen the worst of New York, the capital of the world, the best city in the world and the city that made you who you are today.
I will recommend you visit it’s world famous museums, churches, parks, theaters, buildings, airports, stores, wineries, libraries………etc.
New York has 5 boroughs with the best and busiest subway system in the world, If you visit it in the morning it is perfectly cleaned, only in the evening after millions of people have used for only $2.25 it is ready to be cleaned. About your encounters with ” crazy people that talk to themselves” they are called homeless and perhaps you did not notice it but San Antonio has more military homeless per capita than New York and sometimes they talk to themselves or to any one who will listen.
I am sorry that you felt segregated in New York, I think that you need to live in different cities for a time longer than a year to really evaluate what segregation feels like. I lived In New York for 30 years as a young immigrant and in San Antonio for 20 years and my memories from New York are only of gratitude for a city where you can go to school and find a job on the same day, grow up, buy a house and raise a family in total acceptance because of its DIVERSITY. I was never rejected or held back in any way on the contrary there is always a place for you among your country men and among New Yorkers (made of people from all aver the world) if y you felt caught between two cultures it is not New York’s doing, it is the fact that your family never embrace New York and were here just to use the city and go back to Ecuador. A lot of people think that way only to realize latter that USA is where they want to live and never go back, then they become Americans and America accepts them. One thing is to teach our kids the culture from where we come from but we need to teach them to be good Americans and to learn their culture as well. The real beneficiary of New York’s culture and diversity is you, no reason to become a mean New Yorker, how about a proud New Yorker.
When you mention segregation, gentrification I assume you are talking about New York being a pioneer city on both subjects, since New York is the most important “melting pot” in the world. Segregation is a natural reaction of immigrants, they want to be together, and gentrification is the way a city renovates and Improves a place to better their way of life. In San Antonio the Germans live in a certain area of the city, the same with the Mexicans and so on. In reference to the weather it is a matter of taste. Naw York weather: from March to June between 45′ and 75′ from July to Oct. 75′ to 89′ from Oct. to Feb 45′ to 05′ and yes we have 4 seasons. San Antonio from June to Nov. 85′ to 108′ from Dec. to Jan. 45′ to 70′ it is never cold and most of the time hot or hotter. As I said before it is matter of taste.
San Antonio is a wonderful city with it’s own identity that can not be compare and as you said “with lots of potential”. I am also very grateful to SA where my two daughters grew up, went to high school and we made a wonderful living but I would never compare it to New York.
I wish you the best in the future, just be careful, words are very powerful.
Maria
Kevin, I am very sorry that you have only seen the worst of New York, the capital of the world, the best city in the world and the city that made you who you are today.
I will recommend you visit it’s world famous museums, churches, parks, theaters, buildings, airports, stores, wineries, libraries………etc.
New York has 5 boroughs with the best and busiest subway system in the world, If you visit it in the morning it is perfectly cleaned, only in the evening after millions of people have used for only $2.25 it is ready to be cleaned. About your encounters with ” crazy people that talk to themselves” they are called homeless and perhaps you did not notice it but San Antonio has more military homeless per capita than New York and sometimes they talk to themselves or to any one who will listen.
I am sorry that you felt segregated in New York, I think that you need to live in different cities for a time longer than a year to really evaluate what segregation feels like. I lived In New York for 30 years as a young immigrant and in San Antonio for 20 years and my memories from New York are only of gratitude for a city where you can go to school and find a job on the same day, grow up, buy a house and raise a family in total acceptance because of its DIVERSITY. I was never rejected or held back in any way on the contrary there is always a place for you among your country men and among New Yorkers (made of people from all aver the world) if y you felt caught between two cultures it is not New York’s doing, it is the fact that your family never embrace New York and were here just to use the city and go back to Ecuador. A lot of people think that way only to realize latter that USA is where they want to live and never go back, then they become Americans and America accepts them. One thing is to teach our kids the culture from where we come from but we need to teach them to be good Americans and to learn their culture as well. The real beneficiary of New York’s culture and diversity is you, no reason to become a mean New Yorker, how about a proud New Yorker.
When you mention segregation, gentrification I assume you are talking about New York being a pioneer city on both subjects, since New York is the most important “melting pot” in the world. Segregation is a natural reaction of immigrants, they want to be together, and gentrification is the way a city renovates and Improves a place to better their way of life. In San Antonio the Germans live in a certain area of the city, the same with the Mexicans and so on. In reference to the weather it is a matter of taste. Naw York weather: from March to June between 45? and 75? from July to Oct. 75? to 89? from Oct. to Feb 45? to 05? and yes we have 4 seasons. San Antonio from June to Nov. 85? to 108? from Dec. to Jan. 45? to 70? it is never cold and most of the time hot or hotter. As I said before it is matter of taste.
San Antonio is a wonderful city with it’s own identity that can not be compare and as you said “with lots of potential”. I am also very grateful to SA where my two daughters grew up, went to high school and we made a wonderful living but I would never compare it to New York.
I wish you the best in the future, just be careful, words are very powerful.
Maria
Kevin and Chris – we loved having you guys here. Take care and come visit!
As a San Antonian I’m glad you felt accepted in my city and had a positive experience during your stay here. I was intrigued by your story because I Ecuador is my adopted country– or more accurately– I am an adopted Ecuadorian. I went to Ecuador during my stint as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and I fell in love with the country, its people, and, most especially, my wife, while I was there. I ended up living there for six years. My wife and I live in San Antonio now, but we are saving money to return and live out the rest of our days there. As a Texan, the scenery in that wet, green, and mountainous country was exotic and intriguing. But one thing I missed while I lived there was seeing the different kinds of faces one sees in this country: white, brown, black, immigrant, native, East Asian, South Asian, Arab, European, African. In San Antonio that diversity takes a different form from places like Houston (where I have been) and New York (where I have not). In San Antonio and South Texas Hispanics have always been a majority of the population. In fact San Antonio’s first mayor was Hispanic– Antonio Navarro. It was only in the first years of the twentieth century that the Alamo Heights-based Good Government League became a dominant and exclusionary political force. So political power was only an issue of organizing and consciousness-raising as Rose Castro and COPS showed in the seventies and eighties. Here there are only two large ethnic factions: German and Mexican, so naturally there is less divisiveness. New York is a different kind of animal. Like Houston, New York is a port. And like New York, Houston is filled with different voices: Hmong, Vietnamese, Chinese, Hindi, Spanish, among many others. To sum up this rambling post, let me say that many people criticize San Antonio for lack of diversity, so it is nice to see your point of view, but one thing I learned in Ecuador is that it is easy to see what is wrong with the world around us and much harder to appreciate what is good. But if we can do that– if we learn to stop seeing the world from a deficit model– our lives will be much richer and we may find unexpected treasures (or even a life partner) where we didn’t think to look.
Cecelia Escobar-SmitheSmith’s what’s the difference between Mexican and Chicanos . Please inlight me.
That’s a very nice article and so well-written.
We’re sorry to see you go, but glad that you enjoyed your time here!
Good luck in Graduate School!
Keving:
Best of luck on your future endeavors.
I never been to New York City, myself. Being a born/bred south texan myself. I grew up in a small town. Coming to San Antonio, TX was an adventure initself. I guess the small town upbringing I had was comfortable and enjoyable. Especailly, when it comes to outdoor activities and visiting neighbors.
Yet, getting back to your New York view. It was quite interesting to read about some of the things I would have encountered should I ever go visit up there? Don’t mind the unusual folks who make New York City home (based upon what you described) yet, I would be interested inthe historic sites myself.
Daver the Neighbor’
Hi Kevin – I appreciate your comments about walking and related public transport use in the greater San Antonio area (which can be a lonely, exasperating and occasionally dangerous experience, depending on where you are headed) compared with New York. For example, taking a bus between downtown and the McNay Art Museum (5mi) is a terrific lesson in San Antonio ditch walking, traffic dodging and un-sheltered bus waiting . . . what many residents within the 410 loop and close to downtown currently experience daily.
While it might seem recent or cutting edge to want improvements in walking conditions in San Antonio – including to support increased public transport use and for health (as you allude to), as a newer resident I have recently discovered a significant local call for and apparent commitment to targeted improvements and increases in sidewalks, road crossings and overall pedestrian amenity (more shade trees, better bus stops, etc) for my area within the historic footprint of the city . . . but dating back some 14 years.
I’m referring to the Near Northwest Community Plan, the product of a comprehensive neighborhood planning process and a 10+ year Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) that appears to have gone largely ignored by the City since its inception in 2000. As a newer resident, the Near Northwest Community Plan / MOU commitments read like a wish list for 2014, and it mirrors (if not mocks) various current planning efforts taking place across the city encouraging less car-dependent living in and around downtown.
It is very hard to take San Antonio’s numerous and costly current urban planning exercises seriously (including the $17m+ reported to have been spent by VIA over the past four years in staff time, meetings and planning for the streetcar system) when the City’s recent comprehensive neighborhood planning efforts appear to have been more or less ‘shelved’ – at least, as my area still waits for less than $5m (in year 2000 dollars) in targeted sidewalk and related pedestrian amenity improvements that likely would have saved lives if completed within the original 2-5 year target time frame.
This includes connecting with sidewalks and better and more frequent crossings (a year 2000 goal) the newer PRIMO and other bus stops along Fredericksburg Road . . . where, not surprisingly, pedestrian fatalities and injuries have been some of the highest in the city.
With new representatives named, annual budgeting underway and an additional $32m in City funds apparently now available for capitol improvements with the shelving (for now) of the streetcar / light rail, I hope the City will complete some of the cost-effective pedestrian amenity Public Improvement Projects committed to with past comprehensive neighborhood planning / MOUs – projects that would save lives, retain existing and attract new residents to neighborhoods surrounding downtown, better connect downtown with existing close-by amenities (including parks, grocery stores, shopping centres, etc) and support current and future public transport and commercial investments.
Readers might have to dig (as some plans appear to have been moved within the City’s website recently), but recent comprehensive neighborhood plans / MOUs detail various commitments that will likely surprise newer residents.
Additional promises and visions are great, but completing some of the pedestrian improvement works agreed to 10+years ago in neighborhoods close to downtown should be the City’s priority.